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Lousy elves keep dying

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Author Topic: Lousy elves keep dying  (Read 3196 times)
Soadreqm
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« on: October 24, 2008, 11:03:37 am »

My habit of buying every gemstone the Mountainhomes can send and encrusting everything has boosted my fortress value way past what I usually have at this population. This has attracted the attention of several neighbouring civilizations with a somewhat tenuous grasp of personal property. While my crazy-awesome entrance machines keep the ambush parties outside, I don't really have the resources to wipe them out. And things that spawn outside without armed escorts are screwed. Two elven caravans have died in a row, and I've stopped opening the outer doors for them because their corpses mess up the courtyard. And those stupid hippie pacifists still insist on coming alone and unarmed.
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cbingel
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« Reply #1 on: October 24, 2008, 11:06:00 am »

Unless you're on a wood starved map, Elves are useless.  Sometimes I'll ring bars around my depot and trap them in there until they go crazy.  Stupid elves.

Why would you get up in a huff and leave if I try and trade you a wooden bin, but be more than happy to show up with wagons full of logs?  What do you think I'm goign to do with them after I buy them?!
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Eruonen
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« Reply #2 on: October 24, 2008, 11:38:00 am »

Unless you're on a wood starved map, Elves are useless.  Sometimes I'll ring bars around my depot and trap them in there until they go crazy.  Stupid elves.

Why would you get up in a huff and leave if I try and trade you a wooden bin, but be more than happy to show up with wagons full of logs?  What do you think I'm goign to do with them after I buy them?!
Elves supply me with some interesting caged animals.
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Soadreqm
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« Reply #3 on: October 24, 2008, 12:03:33 pm »

The animals are why I would like to trade with them. Especially the vermin-sized ones. I wish all my dwarves had little pets sitting on their shoulders.

Also, they bring sun berries. And with the outside as it is, I can't really farm them myself from the seeds I get.
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Chaoticjosh
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« Reply #4 on: October 24, 2008, 12:09:42 pm »

soadreqm, can you describe your "crazy-awesome entrance machines" and the surrounding terrain on your map? i've been studying traps both conventional and unconventional, and i suppose i could suggest something if i had more details.
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Soadreqm
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« Reply #5 on: October 24, 2008, 01:07:41 pm »

Well, they're not all that special. Basically a room with a trade depot and lever-operated iron grates blocking the exits to the outside and the rest of the fortress. And I can flood it at will. I like it better than the other similar arrangements I've had because this time I actually bothered to make the floodgates out of much-more-feasible brass instead of stone.

I keep the outer portcullis open, and when traders have reached the depot, I'll open the inner portcullis so the diplomat can find a path inside. The caravan escorts can dispatch any raiding parties that rush in. When the diplomat's inside, I close the outer portcullis, trade, discuss, open gates again, close gates again, fill the room with water because I can. Problems arise when I get elves and migrants.

The outdoors is pretty boring. a brook just outside the fort entrance, some trees in one corner, the rest is low basalt hills. My planned solution is to slowly build an army, and purge the map of the skulking filth. And with the outside relatively safe, build walls and fortifications to keep it that way.
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Chaoticjosh
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« Reply #6 on: October 24, 2008, 01:18:06 pm »

thats pretty good, water based obstacles and drowning traps are my favorites. what are your forces in relation to the invading forces?
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ACE91
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« Reply #7 on: October 24, 2008, 06:28:16 pm »

So, wait... you have a problem with elves dying? Isn't that kinda against the DF spirit or something? Tongue
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jaybud4
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« Reply #8 on: October 24, 2008, 10:38:51 pm »

So, wait... you have a problem with elves dying? Isn't that kinda against the DF spirit or something? Tongue
No, the DF spirit is Losing is Fun.
Elves dying has nothing to do with you losing.
Thus it has no part in the DF Spirit.
Mind, most of the forums have a negative connotation towards elves, but it's not part of the "DF Spirit"
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JoRo
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« Reply #9 on: October 25, 2008, 04:10:07 am »

I, for one, don't actively hate the elves the way most seem to.  I always enjoy buying their entire caravan with a single item.

I do wish they'd bring some cool animals, though.
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Deon
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« Reply #10 on: October 25, 2008, 02:16:52 pm »

Build a lot of traps on the map, not at your ebtrance only.
Make a trap-guarded pathway for merchants; build a few "bunkers" (towers which have access only from underground) with marksdwarves patrolling. There're ways to guard merchants.
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Soadreqm
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« Reply #11 on: October 25, 2008, 03:41:26 pm »

I've been trying to stay away from actual trap-traps. They're a bit too effective. The towers sound fine, and I'll build some the moment I feel safe enough to send masons outside.

The forums do hate elves, but the forums are were EEEEVIL!!! If a few elven bowmen would get killed while heroically fighting the goblins, that would be just great, and make for nice engravings, but the traders don't really have any way of fighting back. They just try to ineffectually run away while the goblins spear them. And then some tiny monkeys come and steal the spoils.

Anyway, the elves are so pacifistic that they refuse to cut down trees without their consent. Hating them would be like organizing a war against UNICEF. Or challenging Mahatma Gandhi to a duel to death. Or butchering a hundred kittens and making gloves out of them. Most likely successful, possibly profitable, but sort of ethically ambiguous
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DoctorZ
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« Reply #12 on: October 25, 2008, 03:42:52 pm »

I, for one, don't actively hate the elves the way most seem to.  I always enjoy buying their entire caravan with a single item.

I do wish they'd bring some cool animals, though.
Sell them expensive, useless stuff. They'll send better stuff in return.

Or so I have heard.
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duke 2.0
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« Reply #13 on: October 25, 2008, 03:50:23 pm »

Anyway, the elves are so pacifistic that they refuse to cut down trees without their consent.

 Wait, what?

 It is no so much that they care for nature(Fine with that. They can love nature all they want.), but how snobby they are about it.

 "Oh, there is a speck of blood on these items! We refuse to trade with you anymore you low-life scum. Tee hee hee, low..."

 Then the audacity to attack you if you cut down too many trees. Bastards.
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Soadreqm
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« Reply #14 on: October 26, 2008, 04:27:33 am »

Well, okay, they are snobby. Can't really go five minutes without mentioning how superior they are. Maybe diplomat to the dwarven lands is some kind of penalty position given to elves for extreme rudeness.
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